The Bird Beast Saga

Apr 27 2009

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In a matter of days, Chad Worthing’s life would change forever.


BEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP! Chad Worthing awakes to the detestable chime of his alarm clock, it’s 6am, time to take on the day. He sits on the edge of his bed for a moment, rubs his eyes and convinces himself that he has to get up. It felt like he just went to sleep, but he resists the urge to lay his head on the pillow next to his wife. Reluctantly, he makes his way to the bathroom and goes to take a shower. Chad forgets that their hot water heater had recently broke down and a blast of freezing cold water comes showering down on his head. The water was freezing, yet invigorating. He jumps out of the shower and dries himself off. “Oh well”, he thinks, “I have to take a shower after I use the office gym anyway.”

He finishes up his morning routine and kisses his wife goodbye before he heads out into the streets of Los Angeles. While drivng to work, Chad normally listens to the morning talk show with Slick Nick and Gerald, but today, his show had been replaced with news. The news reporter mentioned something about an accident of some sort in the downtown area, Chad, uninterested, turned off the radio before he heard any details.

On the way to work, Chad comes accross a couple of disturbing scenes.

The first scene is a woman who looks to have been attacked or have fallen down. Her leg appears to be injured, but she is being helped by another woman, and so Chad, not one to get involved, keeps driving. He wonders for a moment what might have happened, and then quickly forgets about it after being cut off by some asshole in a silver Mazda 626.

The next scene, however; is something that Chad would not soon forget.

Driving through a small downtown residential area, he gets a quick glimpse of a shirtless man holding up the severed head of some animal that was unidentifiable to Chad. A small boy is poking at the lips with a stick, while another child watches from behind a fence. Driving away, Chad searches his database of animals in his mind, but the closest match he can come up with is an ostrich. He is baffled, as he is pretty sure there are no ostriches in Los Angeles and the head that the man was holding up only vaguely reminded him of an ostrich.

Fifteen minutes later he arrives at the Medstock office building, his place of work for the last 11 years. With the image of the disgusting head still fresh in his mind, he enters the familiar lobby and heads to the elevator. Two women are in the elevator that he recognizes, Lisa and Betty. He smiles and then presses the button for floor 5, where the office gym is located, and leans against the wall. While thinking about what he just witnessed, he overhears the two women talking about how someone had been attacked in the downtown area. He then remembers the woman that he saw who seemed to be in distress. “What a strange morning” he thought, as he the elevator bumped to a stop and the doors slid open. He exits the elevator and makes his way down the balloon strewn hallway. Chad then remembers that today is the 25th anniversary of the Medstock Corporation. “Whoop dee fucking doo” he thinks to himself as he enters the men’s change room. He changes into some shorts and a t-shirt, swings open the door to the gym and this is what he sees.

How will Monday end for Chad? What is that thing in the gym? What is in store for Tuesday? Find out next time on The Bird Beast Saga.

Photo Source: Charlie White

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3 Responses to The Bird Beast Saga

  1. Onceafortnight says:

    Can’t wait for the next installment – the suspense, the suspense….. Good job NJE

  2. Anonymous says:

    OH MY GAWD CHAD GIT OUTTA THERE!!! I fucking hate assholes in silver mazda 626’s, great way of making me relate!

    — cronos 4 eva

  3. Richard Bergeron says:


    Thanks, I can’t wait either.



    This reminded me of the Pork Chop sandwiches GI-JOE clip. Thank you for that, I also hate assholes in silver Mazda 626’s. Who do they think they are, time travelers?

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