Taliban Mom

Jun 19 2013

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I pitched this miniseries idea to the CBC but did not get past the third interview. Little mosque on the prairie was picked up instead:

TALIBAN MOM:

A Mennonite Mom is on vacation in Afghanistan. She is alone and enjoying the sights and sounds. By chance she meets another Mom in a Cafe. They hit it off. The meeting ends with them clasping each-others hands, looking into each-others eyes and exclaiming “GIRLFRIEND!!”.

Mennonite Mom is invited over for dinner and she finds out that the Mom she just met is in-fact a Taliban Mom. They get to talking and arrange to swap families for fun.

When the Mennonite family arrives to greet their Mom/Wife at the Winnipeg airport they meet Taliban Mom. It takes 7 hours and two embassy phone calls to establish that Taliban Mom is lawfully engaged in a Mom swap with Mennonite Mom. Taliban Mom is taken home and introduced to the Mennonite way of life.

Because the meeting and arrangement was established in Afghanistan, the Mennonite moms insertion into the the Taliban was far more smooth. Although many of the conservative tendencies are shared between Mennonite Mom and Taliban Family, friction arises as the outspoken mom criticizes the etiquette of the Taliban family, which is composed of 3 sons, 1 daughter and a Husband. During a disagreement over curfew, Mennonite mom is chopped up with a machete.

Back in Manitoba Taliban mom is faring well. She has assimilated into the community of the Mennonite family with few social faux-pas. She is engaged with the baking community, where her techniques and skills are valued. On Sundays Taliban mom attends the soccer games of the Mennonite children. Some people are put off by her consistent twitching whenever a male raises their hand. Eventually people start questioning the “weirdo wife” of the Mennonite husband. She starts being considered an antisocial snob and is shunned from the community. Taliban mom descends into a self loathing which is embellished with sudden a onset of manic rage. During one of these manic periods Taliban mom is chopped up with a machete by the eldest Mennonite son.

The end credits will be composed of entrails from the choppings. The entrails will slide down and form the names of participants. This will be done by establishing the credits with the entrails on a glass surface and then tilting the glass so the entrails slide off. The film will then be ran in reverse and it will appear as though entrails are sliding into position in order to properly credit all of the people involved.

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4 Responses to Taliban Mom

  1. slippery pete says:

    Tasteless.

  2. larrybrains larrybrains says:

    I think it was rather tasteful, in the way that a riff on a guitar is a tasty lick.

    My favorite part was the description of how the credits would be done.

  3. francine says:

    I love that show ‘mom swap’! CBC is a fool for not wanting to do an international version like this one.

  4. Luther Vandross says:

    Oh man! I just saw Taliban Midget mom episode 3. Looks like you didn’t go low enough…that and the need for killing both moms. Turns out the Taliban find midgets to be holy creatures and dress them up in frilly lace. They should still use the credits but how do you get them to slide down. I suppose a clever cut could be used.

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