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Milk Alien Saga: Part 4

Dec 12 2009

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Previously on “Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind” Tom the alien crash landed into the back lot of a cult named the Neon Jello Evangelists and was mistakenly deemed their leader. Tom fell in love with Sandra, but it was short-lived for they were kidnapped by ruthless redneck thugs. Tom couldn’t deal with the memories of the ordeal and left Sandra. He began to live the high life partying it up and had an affair with Barry’s wife. Barry came home to find his wife in bed with Tom and Barry became enraged.

And now the thrilling conclusion to “Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind”;

Barry grabs Tom and before he can use his powers to defend himself, Barry violently smashes Tom’s head into the headboard. He continues to bash his head until Tom stops moving. Barry, still enraged, throws Tom’s limp body onto the floor. He places his foot on Tom’s torso and begins to tear off his limbs one by one. He grabs the pile of bloodied limbs and carries them outside to throw them into the courtyard of the colony.

At this point the attendees of the aforementioned party  are just beginning to filter out into the court yard. To their dismay, they witness Barry tossing the pieces of their once whole leader into the courtyard lawn. At first, the crowds reaction is one of complete horror, but then one of the onlookers shouts out, “The great leader’s limbs still hold his power within them!” After a few seconds of confusion and thought processing, suddenly the members of the Neon Jello Evangelists collectively rush for the limbs like a deal hungry crowd unleashed through the doors at Walmart on Black Friday. They trample over each other praying to grab one of their leaders limbs with the hopes that the power possessed within the limb will be bestowed upon its owner. Those that are unable to obtain a limb feverishly barge into Barry and Lisa’s home and rip apart what is left of Tom’s torso and head.The scene could be described as pathetic at best.
A few days after the incident, the Neon Jello Evangelists decide that they must elect a new leader; however, there is no clear choice. After much debate they come to a consensus that those in possession of Tom’s body parts will be elected as members of a high council. This council will oversee and determine the course of all actions within the colony.
 Now a society that once enjoyed a lack of social discrimination based on class structure, became quite the opposite. The egos of those members who possessed one of the former leaders body parts became quite engorged. They walked around with their nose in the air to those who didn’t possess one and much like a lucky rabbits foot, they always carried their alien body part with them. This was not only because it was a status symbol, but also because they knew that any other NJE with two feet and a heartbeat would do anything to get their hands on one of the prized body parts, so an unattended body part was akin to asking for it to be stolen.
The non-possession group, as they were called, started holding secret meetings to discuss plans to over throw the possessors, but before they could carry out their plans, something unimaginable happened.
Tom’s limbs and other body parts, although seemingly inanimate objects, began to take on a life of their own. The possessors were unable to contain the physical power of the alien parts.
Little did they know,  a ship from Tom’s home world had quietly positioned itself over the colony in the middle of the night.
They had come back for Tom.
The ship let loose an array of what appeared to be streams of bright white light. Tom’s body parts leaped up from their motionless state and parted company with their captors. All of the various pieces gathered together in the center of the courtyard under the ship. In a great blast of the light, the parts fused together to take the form of Tom once again.
The NJE’s looked on in astonishment at what they were witnessing. Tom slowly floated up into the ship and as he did he gave the entire group the finger. Before the ship left to return to Tom’s home world, Tom instructed the ship’s captain to nuke the site from orbit. As Tom watched the nuclear blast decimate the colony that he once loved, he whispered under his breath, “Goodbye, and good riddance!”
THE END
 Photo Sources: Charlie White

 

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The Milk Alien Saga: Part 3

May 17 2009

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Previously on “Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind” Tom the alien crash landed into the back lot of a cult and was mistakenly deemed their leader. Tom fell in love with Sandra, but it was short-lived for they were kidnapped by ruthless redneck thugs. Tom couldn’t deal with the memories of the ordeal and left Sandra.

And now, Part 3;

After parting with Sandra, Tom was able to relinquish the horrible memories of his kidnapping. He felt alive again, and full of vigor. He started to again attend the social gatherings of the Neon Jello Evangelists. Things couldn’t be better.

All of the ladies of the cult knew Tom was single and looking. Most of them would jump at the chance to be with the great Lord Worgalt. Tom could have any woman he desired, but his mind was set on Barry’s wife Lisa. He spent the night working his charms on her and towards the end of the evening they escaped away together to Barry’s house. They spent what seemed like an eternity making sweet passionate love, and eventually fell asleep in each others embrace, forgetting the conspicuously dangerous bed in which they lay.

An hour later, Barry arrived home from the party quite drunk. He stripped off his cloths as he made his way to the bedroom. When he opened the door, he could hear Tom’s distinctive dying giraffe breathing sound. It sounds like this:


Audio Source: South Park the Movie

Barry flipped on the lights of the room to reveal Tom and Sandra embracing one another in his bed. He instantly becomes enraged and attacks Tom.

Lisa, terrified, attempts to flee the scene, but Tom reaches out for her help. Barry has a firm grip on Tom’s head and begins to….

Find out what becomes of Tom in the next episode of “Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind”.

Photo Source: Charlie White

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The Milk Alien Saga cont…

Apr 23 2009

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Previously on “Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind: Tom the alien crash landed his spacecraft into the back lot of a building owned by a hip cult named the Neon Jello Evangelists. The members of the cult thought Tom was their lord Worgalt returning to Earth to save them and so they partied with him. While staying with the cult, Tom met the love of his life, Sandra, and he decided to make Earth his home. Unfortunately, Tom and Sandra were kidnapped and tortured by ruthless redneck thugs.

And now, the second episode of Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind.
Tom, forced to watch Sandra being tortured, can not take it any longer. Even though he vowed at a young age to never use his powers to harm others, he felt it was the only way he could end Sandra’s torment and ultimately save them from these monsters. Tom begins to concentrate and in an instant creates three miniature black holes, one buried in each of the rednecks brains. The intense gravity of the black holes causes the neanderthals’ heads to implode.


After the horrific ordeal, Tom and Sandra return to the cult and attempt to lead a normal happy life with one another. At first, everything seems fine. Tom and Sandra spend a week celebrating their safe release by getting high and drunk, but in reality it is just a futile attempt to wash away the past. As time wears on, the past catches up with Tom, and the drugs and alcohol are no longer enough to suppress his memories of that fateful day.


A few months go by and Tom and Sandra’s relationship is falling apart. Tom can’t look at Sandra without being reminded of the violence inflicted upon her and the violence he was forced to inflict upon their captors. In Tom’s culture, violence is nonexistent, and so he has no efficient coping mechanism available to him. Tom realizes that there is only one way he can deal with this, and with a heavy heart, tells Sandra that he is leaving her.


That concludes this episode of Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind. Come back soon to find out what becomes of Tom, Sandra and the Neon Jello Evangelists.

Photo Source: Charlie White
 

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The Milk Alien Saga

Apr 13 2009

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I recently came across a couple interesting pictures and I have been attempting to find out their origins, but to no avail. I intend to find out. In the meantime, I will speculate their origin and back story.


This first image is fantastic. The puppet or figurine or whatever it is they used for the alien looks superb. He even has a dark hairy groin area, which can be seen more clearly in the next photo. Everyone in the picture looks like they are extraordinarily high, and the portly fellow laughing in the background on the left looks like he went a little overboard on the stick reefer joints. The woman in the blue with the large glistening mammaries seems to have the closest connection with Tom, that’s the name I gave him, Tom. What is she feeding him, cottage cheese? I think the two laying on the floor in the foreground may be eating a bowl of jello, and let me tell you, they are having a blast. This picture may be the definition of Neon Jello Evangelists.

I wish this was a still from a television show. It could be titled “Stoned Encounters with the 3rd Kind“. It’s the 1970’s, Tom, in search of a new planet for his people, crash lands on Earth into the back lot of a religious cult. They think that Tom is their beloved Lord Worgalt and take him in and worship the shit out of him, and then party like it’s 1972. Over time, Tom forgets about his mission, his people, and finds a new life for himself on earth. With his noble followers, with the woman he loves, Sandra (glistening mammories), he finally feels like he is home. But oh no! Trouble is brewing.
Tom and Sandra have been kidnapped by a group of ruthless redneck thugs from the nearby township. These particular thugs hate the Neon Jello Evangelists and have a strange fascination with milk torture. Will Tom and Sandra be rescued? Does tom have special powers that he can use to escape? Find out next time on Stoned Encounters with the Third Kind.
 
Photo Source: Charlie White

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