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Old Guy Music

Jan 09 2014

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Well hello folks,

As promised it was a very special year. And it’s come full circle as we end the year’s Vacation Mystery Hour with the final segment. Who knows what will come in the future. In 2 days it seems I’ll be disappearing into the wilds of Northern Myanmar to socialize with exotic animal poachers and smugglers. Not my ideal choice of company but my travelling companion will more than make up for that. It appears to be an expensive trip as it stands. We’ll see how the old pochette livre holds up.

Here we have a reminisce of about 10 months ago combined with a few new tidbits. My time in Shangrila is interspersed with memories of my youth and present. I hope you enjoy.

Featuring:
Socialized children
A peeping tom’s ears: music from an old person’s workshop
Chinese Furniture Review 1
Guangchang Dance Indecision
Travelbuzzkill ABaum Ruins the Day Again
Comedy Break
A Trip to the Spa
Quincey Enok – Ugly World
A Quiet Ending


See you all next season.

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Delicious Crispy Buns

Mar 30 2013

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Oh god. Thinking about these buns is enough reason to go live in the middle of nowhere. This was perhaps the dirtiest city I’ve been in recent memory. Tianmen in the month of February is disgusting. A slow, piercing cold follows you everywhere. I did, however get the best haircut I’ve ever received and ate these buns. These buns are far and away the best buns I’ve ever had. Nothing can compare. They were so crisp on the outside and the inside, fully cooked with a moist but flaky interior that must be due to the lard. I am told lard is in them. Lard is something we are programmed to hate in NA but it is simply more delicious butter. We need to stop the madness. We must accept lard into our lives but first butter. Non-hydrogenated margarine is a travesty.

Please imagine how delicious these are with me. It’s all I have left. Also, note the fancy hand-work. This guy is a bun making god. I was really drunk having just left my friend’s wedding (congratulations!) and at the end of the night, informed the bun maker that I would never see him again and that I loved him. He paid me no mind at all. It only makes me love him more.

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A Barbeque Review

Mar 27 2013

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Good day, friends

We are gathered here today to watch a relatively long video consisting of one man eating a large variety of meat. There are sometimes vegetables wrapped in meat or sandwiched by meat but those moments are few and far between. Enjoy the tastiness you’ll not be eating. I recommend turning it up in order to delight in the sounds of chewing.

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BBQ Eggplant

Mar 05 2013

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Ladies and Gentlemen,

It’s been a long time. Good to be back, let me tell you. I’ve got some good videos but this one is probably the best. Might as well save the best for first. I am still dreaming about how awesome this is but maybe I’m just watching the video over and over. People don’t seem to know this but eggplants are fucking delicious. I know eggplant in more languages than any other word. That’s a lie but not too much of one. ┬áPeople always say “I don’t really like eggplant.” Never trust those people. Eggs are good. Plants are good. Enjoy…

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Thou Shalt

Oct 04 2012

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breakith thine arms of flight, and deliver, unto thine libation box, a headless corpse. Yay, the head shall move. Yay the body shall twitch. And all shall be eaten after rightly basting in soysauce and grilled upon a shoukou. And thou shalt pay 35RMB.

Music by: Juice Carroted

Track: Cunt Strip

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Future Gold Medalist

Jul 01 2012

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As I walked home from the local deli, I saw this little spitfire rocketing around in circles. I filmed her as she was on her last little run around the square. Squares are often round and this is really only a part of a square that’s neither round nor square. I believe squares used to be square and have now morphed into a more standard definition as public gathering places. This place is pretty bumping in the summertime.

Currently, I wait. It’s foggy and rainy. I wonder if my plane will take off.

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Spinning Wafer Machine

Jun 22 2012

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Here’s an oldie but a goodie. Not actually sure what this is called never asked and haven’t had luck searching it out online. Would be great built into some sort of dessert treat but on their own, an overwhelming task to eat.

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Jianbing is the Right Thing…

Jun 20 2012

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…to eat for breakfast. Or any time of the day really. It’s just a delicious snack that the whole family will enjoy. Here we have a very intense conversation in Chinese. Roughly goes like this: “Do you want sauce?” “Want” “Hot?” “Want. Want this. Want this. Don’t want this.” “Four yuan.” A really rare and exciting chance to peep in on a proper conversation.

Oh and welcome back the return to HD!!!! That’s 720 ┬áprogressively scanning lines of jianbing, people. Respect!

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