Do not urinate while standing. Urinating while in the standing position is known to cause severe cases of Gonasyphaherpalitis. Be sure to urinate in the sitting position at all times. While in this position, it is also pertinent to not wear your hat backwards as this will contribute to being uncool. Not contracting Gonasyphaherpalitis and being cool are worth putting in that extra effort while you urinate.
Also, to ensure a high level of physical health and mental well being among citizens, the government has instituted a program that strictly enforces the sitting while you urinate with a foward hat policy. If you are caught standing and urinating, you will be payed a visit from a government official who resembles Father Time.
He will remind you, the offender, of all of the failures in your life while he cuts you a little bit with his scythe
If you are caught with your hat backwards while sitting and urinating, you will be payed a visit by Grandma Chicos.
She hates it when peeps wear their hats backwards and will rough you up good. She’s tough.
If you are caught with your hat backwards while standing and urinating, you will be payed a visit by the Jenkins Family.
Let’s just say they rape you until you die.
Peeing while sitting with hat forwards = healthy cool
Peeing while standing with hat backwards = rape death