My Triumphant Return

May 15 2009

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I have returned. I arrived in Manitoba about a week ago and have just gained access to the internet. What a glorious day.

I figured I would start off by telling you all about my travels to this great land of Manitoba. On the first night of my trip I slept on a giant couch at a friends place in Vancouver. We went to a bar called Toby’s and saw some old friends that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. We all got good and drunk and at the end of the night were thoroughly harassed by the security guard at the bar. He would bother us every 5 minutes or so to inform us of the time remaining until close. It was quite annoying and we felt as if we were being singled out, probably because we were so hip, and he was quite the opposite. Envy is a powerful motive.

After being bothered a few times, we went and smoked on the patio, but power trip security jerk showed up to put the brakes on our fun. He made us put out our cigarettes. After that, a few people in the group decided that some kind of retaliation was in order and so they left the bar with their glasses of beer in hand. The security douche came running outside chasing after us yelling “OHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO, BRING THOSE BACK! I’M CALLING THE RCMP!” He then proceeded to slap a drink out of one of the girls hands and it smashed on the ground. He grabbed another drink from one of the other girls and then there was one guy left in our group with a beer. He was not ready to give up his beer and what followed next was a slight tug o’ war style struggle for the beer. It looked something like this.


At some point the guy in our group decided it was not worth it, and let go of the beer. I think the glass smashed on the ground as well. The security loser then yelled out “YOU’RE BANNED FOR LIFE!” as he scurried into the bar. Everything after this point is kind of a blur. Pizza was eaten. Houses were visited. Sleeping ensued.

After Vancouver, in a slightly tired and hungover state, I made my way to Calgary, an 11 hour drive, and stayed the night in some seedy motel. There I ate some delicious chicken and shrimp gumbo from boston pizza while watching a psychedelic freak out movie from the seventies that was on tv. It was rad, wish I could find out the name.

After Calgary, I drove to Regina. On the way there, I took a dump in some roadside washroom. Inside the stall was written

MUSLUM TEROR MUST DIE!

I found the spelling mistakes and placement of the note comical. Toilet stalls are no place for pro anti terrorism graffiti IMHO.

In Regina I met up with two friends and drank beers and ate food. Went and saw Star Trek the movie. Do yourself a favor and go watch it. It is quite amazing. Looking forward to the next one.

Afte regina, I visited my old park and saw some of the people there. They were still rad. Then I made my way to my new Park and have been here since. So far the people are good and I am looking forward to the summer.

I will return to my usual posting style tomorrow. Laters.

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2 Responses to My Triumphant Return

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think its great that star trek is such a love fest. Seriously, all sorts of people with all sorts of tastes or lack of love that movie. Once in a while i run across someone who wants to put it down and i immediately think that person is a douche. Sure the movie is not goign to change your life but it is exactly 100% what a blockbuster movie should and can be. amazing.

    –Ebert

  2. Anonymous says:

    Sounds like even the point before everything was a blur was a blur… It also sounds like that night was by far the best one on your trip. Probably because of the company.

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