Insurance Fraud

Dec 01 2009

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Recently while wandering the streets of Winnipeg, I noticed a trend among insurance advertisements. They mostly depict families or friends frolicking in a lush green grassy environment happy as can be. Try doing a Google image search of “life insurance” and you will see what I’m talking about. They look something like this:

After noticing this trend I decided that it might be fun to use Photoshop to show what’s really on the minds of these fun loving happily insured people. Take a look.

Grandpa is happy because he just got life insurance. Little Josephine is even happier because she just found out that she is listed as one of Grandpa’s beneficiaries.

Josephine may be weak, but her determination makes her strong and she is driven by her goals.
Jennifer and her husband just got life insurance. She now feels secure despite his high blood pressure and poor heart condition. As a result, she took him on a hike up and down some giant grassy knolls.

Her husband had a heart attack and died during the walk. How could she have known that a simple nature walk would turn into such cause for celebration.

The Wilkinson’s just purchased life insurance for all of their children. What a glorious day.
They can only hope that the children don’t have an “accident” and “fall” into a deadly bubbling cauldron of awful.
Chad just got his sweet ride insured and his lady friends are super stoked about it. In celebration they drove out to this field and dropped some acid.
Chad’s exact words to the insurance agency were “It’s not my fault! A monkey riding a bull came out of nowhere and totally smashed into my car!”
 Little Toby’s parents died when he was a young age, and so Grandpa became his legal guardian. Grandpa just purchased life insurance for little Toby.
Now Grandpa doesn’t feel so bad about losing little Toby to Jareth the Goblin King aka David Bowie.
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8 Responses to Insurance Fraud

  1. Anonymous says:

    Sup sup sup, nice post. I enjoyed the choking photo quite a bit, my fave. His face reminds me of arnie in total recall when his mask bursts on mars. ARHHAHAHARGHGHGHGHAERAGHGHG, he would say.

    – Ron J Pimplestein

  2. Neon Jello Evangelist says:

    Wow. I did not notice the total recall Arnie resemblance. Thank you sir.

  3. Natasha says:

    very funny, big fan of the boiling children

  4. Neon Jello Evangelist says:

    Thanks. Boiling children is my specialty.

  5. Anonymous says:

    When I was a kid at watched The Labyrenth, I totally had a crush on David Bowie. Now looking at him I think he looks like a pedophile. And that is why looking at the photo with the baby on his lap sets off. so. many. warning. bells.


  6. Neon Jello Evangelist says:

    Yeah, seriously, guys in tights with bulges shouldn't be stealing babies. I guess nobody should be stealing babies, but it's perceived as worse if a bulgy tights guy steals a baby.

  7. poopsiemacgee says:

    i took you up on your challenge of google imaging 'life insurance'… and you called my bluff,,, or there was no bluff of yours to call… or something. fact of the matter is, people who are photographed while thinking about getting paid for being in advertisements for life insurance look freakin happy!! I hope that Ron J Pimplestein is doing ok right now. Can you hear me Ron J????

  8. Neon Jello Evangelist says:

    I know right. Maybe I should do some life insurance advertisements.

    P.S. Ron J Pimplestein couldn't hear you because his ringer was off.

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