Now is the culmination of all good things in your life into one large climatic thing that makes you want to eat a cucumber whole without dip and without salt and vinegar. Just straight up cucumber. You are the being that has dominated your life and there is no denying that. Even if you were dominated your whole life by someone that was weird and evil, you still had control, you just didn’t know it. This is the time to use that control to power through a giant cucumber. You can do this, I know you can.
I suggest that each and every person that reads this, take a picture of yourself eating a cucumber in whatever way you wish.
Send these photos to firstname.lastname@example.org
I will post these photos in my next blog post and the person with the best cucumber eating photo will win the honor of having the best cucumber eating photo.
Here is an example to get you started although this could be a zucchini.
If you wish to have yourself posted on this website eating a cucumber, this is your only chance. Now I just realized that you might think this is some kind of plot by me to see people putting phallic objects in their mouths, and that is EXACTLY what it is. Honestly though, I just think the idea of eating a cucumber whole is odd. DO IT! DOMINATE THE CUCUMBER! EAT IT….EAT IT ALL!