Diary of a Park Ranger: Entry #1

Jun 28 2012

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I visited the local co-op grocery store while on duty this past Tuesday morning. I walked into the store in uniform and it was a bustling little place. They were undergoing an expansion and renovations so there were people busily working away on different projects throughout the store. As I walked through the chaos, every person I passed greeted me with a chipper hello or good morning and a great big smile. I felt like I was belle from beauty and the beast as she walks through the market, except way more manly. I made my way to the small fridge in the back of the store that contained some pre-made deli items. The fridge was mostly bare, and I had to choose from either a chicken wrap that looked kind of soggy, or a two bun sandwich combo that looked mostly dry and edible. One of the buns was chicken with cheese and the other was ham with cheese. I grabbed an orange juice out of another cooler, paid for the items at the till and made my way back out to the big old patrol van.

The ham bun sort of looked like this.

As I was driving back to the park on the other side of town, I started in on the chicken sandwich¬†. It was pretty plain, but was most definitely edible. After I devoured the first sandwich, I grabbed the ham sandwich and dove in. By this time I was doing a vehicle patrol through one of the camping bays. On the first bite into the ham bun, I noticed a slightly off taste but it quickly disappeared and I passed it off as just my mind playing tricks on me. This was a mistake. I took a second bite and was immediately hit was the taste of putrid rotten ham. My first instinct was to spit it out, but there were campers around and I didn’t want them to see the park ranger barfing out of the window, gotta keep up appearances, nor did I want to spit it in my lap. I had nowhere to spit it so I just held it loosely in my mouth in a way that I would experience the rotten flavor the least. I had rotten ham in my mouth for approximately 1 minute before I reached the end of the camping bay. I got out of the van and spit it all over the ground. I then grabbed the juice that I purchased and swished some around in my mouth and spit that out too. It was a great relief, but also utter disappointment after realizing I had no more sandwich to eat.

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3 Responses to Diary of a Park Ranger: Entry #1

  1. Slippery Pete says:

    Heheh. Have you considered going back to the store and getting a free sandwich?

  2. francine says:

    pretty gross. you should probably sue.

  3. larrybrains larrybrains says:

    I considered it, but they would probably just give me another rotten sandwich.

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