Oct 13 2012

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Mhtick: What was a favorite article of clothing from your childhood?

Chris: I had a hat that my Grandfather gave me.

Muhtick: What was it like?

Chris: It was great, it was like this uhhhh… I think it had this army, sort of, camouflage. It was a baseball cap, and I used to wear that all the time and it had patches from like, swim, swimming patches.

Mhtick: Were they your swimming patches?

Chris: Yah, Id go through the red cross swimming program.

Muhtick: So you know, like in Olympics, swimmers often display themselves as the biggest jerks, did you find that there were a lot of jerks in swimming?

Chris: No, we were all just a bunch of kids.

Muhtick: What’s right with children these days?

Chris: They have instant access to great amounts of knowledge, so that will help them learn much quicker.

Muhtick: What gives you the chills?

Chris: Uhh, probably like, basically like slimy hairy things with very giant eyes.

Muhtick: Are you talking about a spider that has crawled through some slime?

Chris: Yeah, or something like that, something that makes slurping noises and has a giant eye staring at you. If i saw that in a shadow somewhere i would be like, ‘what the fuck was that!?’.

Muhtick: How do you like your chili?

Chris: I like my chili hot, with a little bit of coco in it. Chunky vegetables, and not pureed or crap like that, I like to have a good crunch when i bite into the chilli. So like, green peppers, celery, bits of tomato and beans.

Muhtick: Do beans make you fart?

Chris: Yes.

Muhtick: And what kind of farts do you get from beans?

Chris: Very smelly, stinky farts.

Muhtick: Are they loud and raucous?

Chris: Yeah, yeah.

Muhtick: And how long do they usually last for?

Chris: The farting, or the individual farts themselves?

Muhtick: Uhhhh, both?

Chris: The farting will last for half a day after the chilli, so ill be farting all night if I have chilli at night. An individual fart would probably be about half a second, if they’re longer i will just put a little ‘Woooo’ at the end.

Muhtick: When was the last time you tooted your own horn?

Chris: With regards to what?

Muhtick: Anything.

Chris: Makes me think of farting again.

Muhtick: Oh you were kind of proud of that one?

Chris: I don’t know, I don’t necessarily toot my own horn.

Muhtick: Ever?

Chris: Nah i don’t think so.

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2 Responses to Chris

  1. Luther Vandross says:

    Sounds a little like someone likes to toot his horn about not tooting his horn. For shame!

  2. larrybrains larrybrains says:

    I enjoyed this interview, but kids can be jerks too!

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