Mhtick: What was a favorite article of clothing from your childhood?
Chris: I had a hat that my Grandfather gave me.
Muhtick: What was it like?
Chris: It was great, it was like this uhhhh… I think it had this army, sort of, camouflage. It was a baseball cap, and I used to wear that all the time and it had patches from like, swim, swimming patches.
Mhtick: Were they your swimming patches?
Chris: Yah, Id go through the red cross swimming program.
Muhtick: So you know, like in Olympics, swimmers often display themselves as the biggest jerks, did you find that there were a lot of jerks in swimming?
Chris: No, we were all just a bunch of kids.
Muhtick: What’s right with children these days?
Chris: They have instant access to great amounts of knowledge, so that will help them learn much quicker.
Muhtick: What gives you the chills?
Chris: Uhh, probably like, basically like slimy hairy things with very giant eyes.
Muhtick: Are you talking about a spider that has crawled through some slime?
Chris: Yeah, or something like that, something that makes slurping noises and has a giant eye staring at you. If i saw that in a shadow somewhere i would be like, ‘what the fuck was that!?’.
Muhtick: How do you like your chili?
Chris: I like my chili hot, with a little bit of coco in it. Chunky vegetables, and not pureed or crap like that, I like to have a good crunch when i bite into the chilli. So like, green peppers, celery, bits of tomato and beans.
Muhtick: Do beans make you fart?
Muhtick: And what kind of farts do you get from beans?
Chris: Very smelly, stinky farts.
Muhtick: Are they loud and raucous?
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
Muhtick: And how long do they usually last for?
Chris: The farting, or the individual farts themselves?
Muhtick: Uhhhh, both?
Chris: The farting will last for half a day after the chilli, so ill be farting all night if I have chilli at night. An individual fart would probably be about half a second, if they’re longer i will just put a little ‘Woooo’ at the end.
Muhtick: When was the last time you tooted your own horn?
Chris: With regards to what?
Chris: Makes me think of farting again.
Muhtick: Oh you were kind of proud of that one?
Chris: I don’t know, I don’t necessarily toot my own horn.
Chris: Nah i don’t think so.