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Delicious Crispy Buns

Mar 30 2013

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Oh god. Thinking about these buns is enough reason to go live in the middle of nowhere. This was perhaps the dirtiest city I’ve been in recent memory. Tianmen in the month of February is disgusting. A slow, piercing cold follows you everywhere. I did, however get the best haircut I’ve ever received and ate these buns. These buns are far and away the best buns I’ve ever had. Nothing can compare. They were so crisp on the outside and the inside, fully cooked with a moist but flaky interior that must be due to the lard. I am told lard is in them. Lard is something we are programmed to hate in NA but it is simply more delicious butter. We need to stop the madness. We must accept lard into our lives but first butter. Non-hydrogenated margarine is a travesty.

Please imagine how delicious these are with me. It’s all I have left. Also, note the fancy hand-work. This guy is a bun making god. I was really drunk having just left my friend’s wedding (congratulations!) and at the end of the night, informed the bun maker that I would never see him again and that I loved him. He paid me no mind at all. It only makes me love him more.

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A Barbeque Review

Mar 27 2013

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Good day, friends

We are gathered here today to watch a relatively long video consisting of one man eating a large variety of meat. There are sometimes vegetables wrapped in meat or sandwiched by meat but those moments are few and far between. Enjoy the tastiness you’ll not be eating. I recommend turning it up in order to delight in the sounds of chewing.

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The Radio Play

Mar 11 2013

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This is my first radio play. It was written by a fan of the show who wishes to remain anonymous. It’s not one of the members of anonymous, though. I like radio plays. I always have. I particularly enjoy Wiretap and Getting On more recently. Sometimes I think I copy Urbaniak a little. But then I listen to shows I did before I listened to him and don’t think that’s the case. Perhaps he’ll just encourage me to leave in those pauses that I often delete.

Enjoy this.

Abaum’s VMH Radio Play Edition: S01E01 – In Capitalist Canada You Watch the Party
In Capitalist Canada You Watch The Party

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BBQ Eggplant

Mar 05 2013

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Ladies and Gentlemen,

It’s been a long time. Good to be back, let me tell you. I’ve got some good videos but this one is probably the best. Might as well save the best for first. I am still dreaming about how awesome this is but maybe I’m just watching the video over and over. People don’t seem to know this but eggplants are fucking delicious. I know eggplant in more languages than any other word. That’s a lie but not too much of one. ┬áPeople always say “I don’t really like eggplant.” Never trust those people. Eggs are good. Plants are good. Enjoy…

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Nail House in the Former Wasteland

Dec 23 2012

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A nail house refers to any homes that belong to people refusing to give way to developers. In the end, the home owners tend to get forced out through intimidation by hired thugs or police. Sometimes, agreements are reached. I’m not sure if this guy lives in a nail house but it must be something of the sort. I wish I knew more about his situation. Anyway, if you’re a listener of the VMH podcast, you’ve heard it before but I recommend anyway.

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S06E01 The Birthday

Dec 03 2012

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It has been a while and here is almost 2/3rds of a VMH for your enjoyment. I hope you like it. In this episode we have a couple firsts. Enjoy the tantalizing tales of food! Salivate over the interview where ABaum definitely has fewer morals than his unshakable interviewee! Then do some other pretty normal stuff.

In this very special episode we can hear:
One Hundred Dollars – My Father’s House
Myelin Sheaths – Do the Mental Twist
R. Stevie Moore – Dirty Woman
also,
Ding Ji – Some Chinese song
ABaum – *It’s a surprise (not you Quincey)*

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Noodlie Goodness

Nov 22 2012

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These delightful foods were prepped to perfection. This guy is a definite master of his wok.
Matek – Lop is that sweet tune that kicks in. Sit back and enjoy. En flambe!

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A Sad Day for Liberty

Nov 05 2012

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A good day to show some trapped roaches. You may not have noticed but one of my videos has been Banned on TV(r). I was really excited to watch the stats of my Pigeon Beheading video grow and be popular from Syria to Canada (Syrians and Egyptians are early adopters of beheading videos – who knew?). Alas, Google did not think it followed community guidelines. I feel like going on a YouTube-wide inappropriate flag-a-thon of any video showing how to skin, gut, fillet etc. and get them removed. I suppose they don’t show twitching heads. But still, a big “lamesville” to Google and the person who flagged it. I sure hope people don’t feel the same about cockroach cruelty. Maybe since this is educational, it’ll make the cut. Enjoy.

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Fan-bzzzzzzz-tic Poun-bzzzzzz-ded Ri-bzzzzzzzzzzz-ce!

Oct 16 2012

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It’s a bee of a good time! This is so hive-licious it’ll blow your honeycomb!

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Thou Shalt

Oct 04 2012

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breakith thine arms of flight, and deliver, unto thine libation box, a headless corpse. Yay, the head shall move. Yay the body shall twitch. And all shall be eaten after rightly basting in soysauce and grilled upon a shoukou. And thou shalt pay 35RMB.

Music by: Juice Carroted

Track: Cunt Strip

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