Arachnid Porn

Apr 24 2009

Posted by:

spider with woman

Why is everyone having sex with arthropods these days? Since when are arthropods great lovers? These particular arthropods are arachnids, and I do not find arachnids the least bit attractive, especially giant arachnids, in fact, I find them absolutely horrifying. I admit, I have a fear of spiders. If they are just in the room crawling along the floor, I am fine with that, but if they start crawling towards me at an accelerated rate or they start crawling on me, I freak out like a sissy nanny. If it was a giant one like the one pictured above, I would shit my pants and start crying. Here’s another one of a dude mounting a scorpion.

french-aids-posters modded2

I’d like to know who created these giant arachnids, because last time I checked, they only existed in the fictional world. Must have been some mad scientist. Lets just hope his next creation isn’t giant hermit crabs, as they will take our homes. Seriously, they will wear them like a Snuggie and just fucking take off. It’s bad enough that I now have giant tarantulas to compete with for the ladies, I don’t need giant hermit crabs stealing my shit too.

The following music video by the Derelict Space Carnies (the band I’m in), depicts this potentially horrific future and what we should do when it all goes down.

In all seriousness though, the photos of the arthropods were part of a French AIDS awareness campaign. I think the arachnids and their venomous nature, are supposed to represent people infected with AIDS. Remember kids, arachnids have AIDS, don’t have sex with them. EVER! Don’t even practice protected sex with arachnids, it’s just not cool, not because they have AIDS, but because arachnids are losers!

Facebook Plusone Twitter Pinterest
Posted in: SLORPIS and Tagged: , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. |

2 Responses to Arachnid Porn

  1. Anonymous says:

    The tagline is “Without a condom, it’s the AIDS virus you’re making love to. Protect yourself.” Personally those photos don’t creep me out at all, and i think the first one is actually kinda hot. Thus this ad campaign doesn’t work for me, and i’m probably going to end up getting aids from the very thing these photos are depicting.

  2. Richard Bergeron says:

    You’re right, the first one is kinda hot, but in reality, that tarantula would be devouring her face!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Do This Math* *